DEAR BOB,
As a junior in high school, I am getting close to the end of my basic education. There is one thing I regret in school more than anything else. It happened when I was starting third grade, when I didn’t want to be a weird girl.
I felt like an outsider because I changed schools every year. I went back and forth from the school by my mom’s house to the school by my dad’s house every time they changed custody in their divorce. Another girl, we’ll call her the weird girl, changed schools and houses a lot, too. She was weirder than me because she dressed in old clothes and some of the other kids made fun of her.
I must have been one of the nicer kids for a while, or just one of the more quiet ones, because I became the weird girl’s friend. She confided in me that her dad did drugs and she lived with her grandma.
Weird Girl Regrets in Third Grade
At the beginning of third grade, I really wanted to fit in and to make friends. I thought I had a chance to finally do this, because for the first time I would be staying at the same school for the whole school year. We had started our first day of class and the teacher took role.
Then the weird girl came marching into our classroom, with the teacher asking who she was. The weird girl put a note on my desk and left. I read it quickly, something about her having to go to a different school and wanting to keep in touch. It had her phone number. I felt like the whole class was staring at me as I read it, and was so embarrassed. I got up dramatically and threw the note in the trash can. Later, I regretted that.
Later, my younger cousin moved to our town. Her parents were on drugs and she was taken away from them. She had to live with our grandma. I found out about some of the terrible things that my cousin went through as a young child. I have done what I can to help her, to be a friend and role model. My childhood wasn’t easy, but I learned that a lot of kids had it way worse than me.
I am sorry that I wasn’t a friend to the weird girl when she needed one. Nobody at school knows where she is now and I can’t find her on social media. So I don’t have a way to apologize or to see if I can be her friend now. What do I do?
– Regretting Junior
DEAR REGRETTING,
Maybe the public confession that you made here will help you to let go of your regrets and move on into your best life as you finish high school. I don’t think that anyone gets through their education without some regrets. So just know that you are human and don’t be too hard on yourself. What’s done is done and you cannot go back and change what you did. At this point you have done what you could to try to make amends. Maybe in the future you and the weird girl will cross paths and you will have another chance to be a friend then. This Wikihow article tells you how.
In the meantime, what you are doing with your cousin is a big step in the right direction. Keep being there for her. As you move on after graduation next year, be sure to make the effort to keep in touch and spend time with your cousin. That is one way you can make amends for the lesson you learned in the past.
Respect for all: Weird Girl or Not
Another is that you can treat those around you (whether they have been there all along like your old class mates or they are new people you meet) fairly and with kindness. We all have difficulties in life. But a lot of the time, people don’t discuss the battles of life that they are fighting daily. We all face grief, loss and rejection, and in major ways. And we all have difficult days that sometimes are hard just because of a lot of little reasons. Now that you are older and wiser, you can become skilled at giving people the benefit of the doubt. In other words, give them a break. And while you’re at it, give yourself a break too. Everyone is doing the best they can with what they have at this time.
We are all weird, whether we admit it or not. And weird can be a wonderful thing.
-Bob Cat
