DEAR BOB,

I am eight years old and I don’t have any friends. I wonder about making friends. What do I do? 

– Lonely

DEAR LONELY,       

You might feel like it now, but you are not alone. Many other kids feel the same way. Sometimes, adults even feel like you do. In this article you can see that college students can wonder about making friends too.

You really only need one good friend to be happy in life. But I think you will find that you can make more than one friend with a little time and thoughtful effort. Above all, take heart and keep trying.

There are many things you can do and I will share my ideas with you. Maybe you are doing these things. But if just one is missing and you change it that could be the piece to the puzzle for you to make friends.

Here is my list of some ideas for making friends. Just take one step at a time. If this seems like too much, focus on doing one or two of these first. If those don’t seem to work, try another one or two.

1. Be a friend.

        a. Smile, say hello, and talk to other kids your age.

        b. Treat them as human beings.

        c. Be respectful to those around you.

        d. Ask them one or two friendly questions each day.

2. Take risks. Put yourself out there.

        a. Ask if you can join games at recess. 
        If they say no, don’t take it personally.  

        b. Look for another kid who looks lonely and ask them to play.

        c. Invite others to play tether-ball, or any specific game.

        d. Invite kids to play at your house or the park after school. 

        e. If they say no, ask someone else. 
        You can ask the same kid again later even 
        if they politely said no the first time.

3. Improve your family relationships.

        a. Parents, siblings, cousins, even grandparents can be friends too.

        b. Ask them to play catch, cards, a board game, or to draw with you.

        c. Ask older family members to teach you to cook, bake, or another skill.

        d. If they are busy when you ask, ask them again later.

4. Find your tribe.

        a. Shared interests naturally build friendships.

        b. Being together regularly helps you learn 
        who shares your interests and who might be 
        a good friend for you.

        c. Join a club, sport or other after-school activity that gets together regularly.

When you do get to spend time with others, remember to treat them how you would like to be treated. With practice, you will become skilled at making friends for life.

Sincerely,

-Bob Cat

Do you have a question for Bob Cat? Ask him here.